the sunshine cleaning

I call you beautiful and welcome you home.

Before you come, I climb up on all the tables to reach the windows and let the light in. I walk the five miles to my favourite flower shop to buy the lavender and the snapdragons. I hang the art I started making the day I stopped crying. I fix the cushions. I make the bed for you.

But there is pain here. There is damage underneath the bedsheets. Holes behind the artwork. I buy new flowers every morning because they all die daily.

And I keep stumbling upon messes I forgot to clean up.